lately, ive been hurting pretty hard. its tough times in the personal life, and i really cant handle anything in the real world, which really shows me how fragile i really am, and scares me because in the future, im not going to have time to cry, or to hurt, i just have to move on.
im not one to run away from a problem, which kinda shows you how many i would have at any single given point in time. my homework, my relationships, my depression, my paranoia, my anxiety, and i think i might be bipolar, i cant handle waiting for someone, and i can turn ugly within seconds, i cant handle things right now, and its not something thats just all of a sudden. this is over an extended period of time.
people always let me down, maybe i have too high expectations for them, because at one point in time, i trusted them, for some reason. i gave them the ability to access my feelings, the inside scoop on whatsup with fingerstroodle.
but once you trust someone, you start to develop expectations for them, and when you get closer to that person, you start to feel something more than just what you did in the beginning. things change, relationships change, people change, and theres nothing you can do about it.
i cant help but wonder about what could have been, or the what ifs in my life. i honestly dont need that now, and i dont think ill ever feel the need to say what if again. no one should have to deal with stress in their lives, i know some people might think stress is over rated, but when you meet some one like me, someone who cant handle things, some one who is border line crazy, on the brink of doing some crazy shit, then you might understand. if you are still an arrogant little ignorant cunt, then fuck you, get off my blog.
im back to writing what i want, when i want, and i think this actually really helps me with things, of course, i put off homework, but really, what does homework do other than waste your time at home. when i get home, all i wanna do is sleep, and thats mainly because of the things ive been through, and am going through right now.
if you like what you read, and or have similar feelings about this, or other things ive written on my blogs, make sure to tell me in the comments down below. everything counts, and it means a lot to me to hear from people who actually enjoy what i write. if you have a topic you would like me to discuss, put it in the comments below.