Stay Focused

a lot of the time, i find it hard to focus on one. i tend to do multiple things at once, and can focus on all of them pretty well, but when im just doing one thing, its really hard to focus on it. 

ive been reading up on iq tests, and how people have tested in the past. ive taken a lot online, some say 180 + some say 150 +, i also took a test on mensa, the free one, and i got 29/30 right the first time ( mensa is the only website that is credited), so i know none of them are very accurate, so i really want to take a legitimate test to really see how i test. but when i read about people who have tested high, they have done things with their lives that i could never come close to doing. i feel so dumb, and i feel like i have no knowledge whatsoever about anything, and just feel ignorant more than knowledgable. 

its hard for me to stay focused, let alone be patient with something. i was waiting for youtube so about a minute, and i just started screaming, and almost broke my computer. i guess ive just waited too long in the past to the point where i just cant wait any longer. but staying focused is really hard for me for some reason. i try to focus on my homework, just get sidetracked, and end up listening to music, playing pokemon, doing the homework a little faster than i would have if i didnt have those things, but thats not the point, the points is that i just cant focus on things to the point where i need to like listen to something, jump, walk around, something to take my mind off of just that one thing, and on to two or three things so i dont have all my eggs in one basket. i think that phrase fits the situation. 

another thing is im not focused on things like school, or sports, but more so focused on my relationship status. i love this girl, but our relationship has been really hard in these past months, and i just dont know what to do anymore. its not like i dont care, but it hurts too much to care anymore. 

i put so much effort into that, and other useless things that im not focused on things like school or family, i dont know notice other things, and i just focus on things i care about. i dont like to focus on things other people care about because if its not me, then i dont really care.

i know i sound hypocritical when i say im in love, but i really dont care, but its just to the point in my life where i just dont care who you are, what you are, where you are, when you are, whatever. i dont really care. you are just another person in the world, just like me, we are practically the same thing, taking up the same space, breathing the same air, running the same race, we are no different than anyother person in this whole goddamn world, but that doesnt mean you should give up. i still have time to try to take back my life, which i intend on doing, but i just need to find a way to focus on things that are meaningful instead of things like a relationship, or family, or friends. i need to find myself, and i think that would take a while with all the distractions around me. 

Be Sensible

when you are in a down dog facing position in life, the only thing you have to look forward to is having your face stuffed into the ground, and your ass pounded by some dude, or girl wearing a strap on either in the pussy, or the butthole. 

it hurts, i know, but its just what happens in those situations. its sensible not to end up in one of those positions where you are ultimately just fucked. having an idea of what you want to happen, and having the ability to carry out what you want done helps. having any sort of intelligence also assists nicely. 

today, i got in trouble for a spanish paper i had turned in. the principle comes and gets me during lunch, and takes me to his office. i go in, and i say, ohh, what did i do this time, and he shows me my spanish homework. in that split second in which i didnt know what i had done, i was thinking did i get cum all over it or something, but when he turned the page, my hear stopped, and i just saw this big fat cock that my friend had drawn. i had totally forgotten about the dick, and when it came time to turn in the homework, i just gave it to the teacher, forgetting that on the second page there is a big fat monster cock just bulging and pulsating out of the page like a fucking 3D movie. it was basically the size of sully when he was the monkey thing in avatar. 

i just look him dead straight in the eyes and i say, i didnt do that. because i didnt. i seriously didnt. even though i didnt do it, i wasnt sensible enough to actually make sure i remembered that he had drawn this cock on my paper, and taken care of it when i had private time, but i wasnt. i left it up to the elements, them being how fucking forgetful people are, and how obvious a big fat cock looks on a thin piece of paper. 

i then go on to say, if you want to punish me for this, go right ahead, it would save both of us time, or at least you time, and spare you a difficult decision when you can just suspend me for a bit right now. 

long story short, he calls me back into his office at a really inopportune time, i was taking my math test, and he just calls me in, and i just like, but when am i going to finish, anyway, i go in, and he tells me im going to be suspended for one day, which is friday, tomorrow. i really dont mind the suspension, i have at least 8 homeworks that i have to turn in by the end of the week, or by monday, so i really dont mind, but still, i got in trouble for something that i didnt do because i wasnt sensible enough to asses the situation. i didnt take the time out of my “busy” day to make sure i took care of that cock, and to make sure i finished the homework itself as it was originally a classwork, but was changed to homework when no one had finished it in class. 

im telling you this story because there will be a time, or for many of you unfortunate people, times, that you will have to deal with these types of situations, and you will have to go through the consequences of not being sensible enough to haven taken care of them when you had the chance, or chances. the system didnt fail you, your friends, or family, or anyone, they didnt fail you. the only noun you have to blame is yourself. 

this is a learning experience for me, and for all of you who have gone through things like this in the past that even though you might not have done whatever it is you got in trouble for, you werent sensible enough to take care of the situation, to handle it, to asses the damages. you didnt take the time to fix a problem that you knew was there, you were too focused on other and im assuming more important things that a possible expulsion charge. 

if you have had similar situations, make sure to tell me in the comments below, id love to hear them. make sure to check my blog for weekly posts, as im really trying to think straight right now, ive been in a really dark place, literally, the lights broke in my room, and there is no electricity running through the house. but ill make sure to update those of you who actually read this piece of shit, and i will make sure you are entertained in my absence. 

if you want to check out my likes.com, heres the link. http://fingerstroodle.likes.com/

All Alone

have you ever felt all alone? have you ever felt like there was no one who was there for you? like you were the only person in the world that didnt have anyone? 

ive already talked about how i feel, about how im depressed, about all of that shit. ive talked about how i suck at life, but i havent really touched upon the feeling of feeling alone. 

i constantly feel this because i constantly feel like im smarter than people, shut up, (i know that sounds conceited, but its not like you havent felt that before), and they just dont understand how i feel, or what i am, or who i am, or where im going. i dont even know, so when people ask me what my plans are for the future, i just look at them, and politely say i dont know, because i honestly dont know. im 15, i dont know anything. i feel comfortable with knowing nothing, i would feel uncomfortable if i knew things. 

i feel alone because no one takes the time and effort to get to know me, and i just cant trust anyone to get any closer than they already have. ive learned to not let anyone closer than 10 feet away in physical distance, and a lightyear in mental distance. its hard enough having to deal with the relationship im already in, its very depressing coming home to what once was your home, but feeling like you are out of place there. it hurts. im in love, yes, do i hate myself for being in love, yes, but i dont regret it because ive literally never felt safer with anyone else but this person. but i hurt because its so hard to be with her now, im 5000 miles away, 6 hours ahead, and just drifting further and further away each and every day. 

i feel alone because i feel like people dont understand me. im the only flower in a field full of wheat. i feel alone, i feel like i dont belong, i feel awkward, i feel like i can be too much for people. i feel like if i wasnt alive, peoples lives would be so much easier. i make an impression on people that im happy, funny, chill, but when you get to know me, god forbid, youll really understand that im nothing like that on the inside. i care too much about things that really shouldnt matter to me. i put too much effort into things that already are doomed to fail. im just a mess, mentally and physically. im not fat, but i feel slow sometimes, i cant move my limbs, my legs stop, my eyes shut, i wake up in my dreams, i feel alone, no ones home, just me and my thoughts. 

i think too much, about nothing, mostly things people dont worry about. its weird, because i sit in class everyday and i just think about everything. anything but what we are doing in class, thats what crosses my mind. im a blank sheet of paper on the outside, but on the inside, its like fucking leonardo davinicii painted my ribcage or someshit. its weird. 

i dont know anything, anymore, and i dont think putting in effort to know something about nothing is worth anyones time. 

 

Pissed Off

im so fucking tired of being pissed off. its pissing me the fuck off. i dont get why everything has to be so hard. of course, everything is easier said than done, but people make it seem like going to the store to get some food in the rain is like the story of noah and his arch. 

seriously, i dont fucking get it. its the same with when you are talking with someone online. ok, you are talking with them for a little, but you almost always never have their full attention. sure, you may be able to keep a conversation going, but when the other person doesnt reply to you for maybe 5 minutes, its like a whole totally new conversation. im not saying everyone is guilty of this crime, but i will say that most of you are. 

when im talking to someone in person, i dont just pause for 5 minutes, and then come back to them and talk about what we were just talking as if i was there the whole time. no, i wasnt. its the same for online, you cant expect to have a conversation with a person who doesnt respond. thats just fucking retarded, and makes absolutely no sense.

i also hate it when people make excuses, and they are too busy making up the excuses to check if they seem legit or not. if you have a project due the next day, ok, thats great, go do that, im not as important as a project, sure, its not like we are always fighting or anything. but sure, go finish your project, its not like you have one everyday now, it seems, talk to me in an hour, hopefully youll be done by then, but theres no way of knowing if you dont tell me. but then, when you come back, its like you have a thousand other things you gotta do all of a sudden, on top of the project that you still havent finished. 

people fucking procrastinate the fuck out of everything. they leave no time for friends or family, and for the first time, ever, its not the schools fault for giving so much homework, its the students fault for not being able to finish the assignments when they have to, then they miss out on relationships. it really does take a toll on what may seem like important relationships, but when it comes to school, nothing is more important, that is true, and once everybody understands it, as hard as it may seem, we can all get over ourselves.

anyway, moving onto more things that piss me off. i hate it when teachers pick on students, i had this one kid in my class a couple years ago, and the teacher would always bull shit him about nothing. he could just walk into class, and automatically be late, even though he would come in with me, and im always early. its fucking dumb. i also hate it how teachers play favorites, i know that too well. i use to live in mexico, and my teachers would all have their favorite students. you know the little fucking teachers pets, suck your dick for an A. those anus holes. and the teachers would always use them like dead fish when luring sharks. they would just bait them, and it was sick, because the students only wanted to get an A, and the teachers were so impressed, they gave them the lavish job of cleaning up the classrooms, and wiping down the board, practically living with the teacher, being their in school maid. the students were of course so delighted to do these things, as they would always get an A, mmmmhhmhmmhm, i wonder why. 

i also hate it when people think they are above you, just because of their political views, or their jobs at work. ya, sure, you may be my boss at work, but you dont own me. we are equals, you are not better than me. you may have a diluted sense of thinking, thats fine, a lot of people are dumb, just dont hold it over my head that you are in a higher rank than me at work. outside of work, we are just the same people. you and me, basically brothers. so dont bull shit me about being better than me, this also goes for teachers, just because they have the authority over me, it doesnt mean they own me. sure, i have to follow a set amount of rules, but when you wip out the bull shit on me, hell to the no im going to listen to your bitch ass. just today, this fucking whore of a teacher comes out and tells us that we cant throw a football where we were, its a rule. i then saw the principle immediately after she had waddled away, and i asked him if it was a rule. he said no, its fine, just as long as you dont hurt anyone. theres an example of how teachers just think they can bull shit you, because they have the authority over you. NO. you absolutely cannot take that shit from anyone. 

i also hate it when we have talks in school about equal rights between men and women. we just had a talk about this in class, so i hope people remember what went down. we were talking about women make considerably less in the work place than men. if that were the case, there would be no men working, only women, because of course, who wants to waste money when you can save it. we were also talking about how women do less pushups, and i brought up the topic of how women never pay for the date, if you do ever get the chance to go out on a date with a woman, she should at least pay half of the bill. thats fine, i think its fine for women to not have to pay for the date also, but when a woman starts to preach the beliefs of feminism in my presence, but i know that she has never paid for the date, objected to doing less exersize than me in gym, and then tells me that woman should be treated better because they go through a period once a month, and it hurts like hell. if you wanted fucking equal rights, you wouldnt use that as a defense. come back to me when you have logical points, and a good argument, cause i aint listening to your bitch ass while you bull shit me under your mother fuckin breath, and interrupt me in class when im tryna make a point about how men and women are created equal, but how i dont and will never support feminists. the reason why is, well, i guess you are going to have to think about what i have said in previous blogs about this subject, i know i have talked about it a lot. 

ive just been really fucking pissed off at people these past weeks, more often than not, and i make the stupid fucking mistake of actually trusting them. i know, its fucking dumb. i have expectations for theses people, and im always mad about it. i cant get too close to a person because i risk getting hurt. i think its just best to go through life without friends, without a girlfriend or boyfriend, and just focus on you, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, in the future you could attempt to find love, but really, life is a hopeless place. motherfucking rihanna in this bitch, mindfucked yall.

if you like what you read, and or have similar views on these sorts of things, or are just generally pissed the fuck off at people, tell me about it in the comments. thanks for reading, and make sure to check weekly for updates. 

Seriously, Stop, Let Me Do Me

i dont like to be serious, its just one of those things i think that everyone is too much of, and should just calm the fuck down. people are always so serious about shit like racism, and poverty, and just about everything else in general. i mean, sure, there are problems in the world, but the reason there are so many is because everyone makes the biggest fucking deal out of literally everything. 

in life, i think its good to have a sense of humor, and not always be so tight butthole about everything. that gives off the wrong impression to people you are meeting for the first time. you could be wanting to get to know them, and trying to start a good conversation, when in reality, no one at a party, at least the ones i go to, wants to know about the current status quo. its just not something everyone is interested in, but a lot of people are really tight butthole about. 

in school, teachers and principals are always so strict about things like swearing, and about people cracking a couple funnies here and there. they absolutely have no tolerance whatsoever for the class clowns, or the ignorance of young adults. they might think they are setting a good example, but they are actually limiting the children. they are telling them what they can, and cant do. they are brainwashing them. they are badly influencing the children. they are telling them its not ok to be funny, its not ok to swear. thats completely the opposite of how you should think. 

you should be able to speak your mind, have a voice, have the confidence in yourself to do something about this bull shit. i know i do, because i have been through too much bull shit in my life, from school, to relationships, to home life, to friendships that im just done beating around the bush, doing what everyone else tells me to do. im ready to take a stand, and become my own person, and so should you.

you shouldnt have to conform to be the ideal student, the model child, you should be able to accomplish those things by being your own person, by being you, not someone else everyone wants you to be. 

stand up for what you believe in, stand up for who you are. be confident in yourself, and dont let anybody, ever, tell you that you cant do something because of so and so. you can, you can do it. believe in yourself when no one else will, thats something i always live by, and although ive steered myself wrong in the past, ive found solace in that saying. 

if you like what you read, make sure to check my blog for daily posts, and if you have something you would like to tell me, put it in the comments below, and i will respond to it as fast as i can. thank you for reading, it means the world to me. if you would like to check out my likes.com, heres the link, i like to post a lot of funny pictures there. http://fingerstroodle.likes.com/

Morning Wood

guys will totally understand how i feel about this, women, just sit back and read slowly because this might be hard to relate to unless you have a huge clit, and you need to tuck that shit when you squat over the toilet seat. 

when dudes wake up in the morning, theres a big chance, literally, that we will have another head looking straight at them, and the urge to let lose of some bodily fluids. now, my dick sticks straight up, i dont know what kind of sideways cocks yall have, but this is the case for me. when i go to the toilet in the morning, i usually gotta pee, most dudes do, especially if you unloaded the night before, or the morning of. 

so when i get up to the toilet, and i got a 10 inch python sticking straight out, its hard to steer that shit, and unless you gotta flexible member, i dont think its going to be easy for you to control it either. and its totally unpredictable, so you dont know weather or not its going to be one main stream, or several streams going out all at once, in different directions, going everywhere but in the toilet water, and getting over everything around that shit. 

thats the least of guys problems, to be honest, because what if you got morning wood, and you gotta drop a couple pounds in the morn? thats gunna be hard as fuck cause you are gunna have to hold that pipe up, tuck it under and risk dismembering yourself, orrrrrr you can see how far back you can go on the toilet seat. this usually works unless you are american or european. if you dont get that, you are probably asian. 

guys, i know it might be hard to admit, but this is probably the hardest thing we gotta do everyday, wake up and go to the bathroom in the toilet when theres a perfectly good shower there. you can either go pee and not take a shower, and smell like man that day, or you can be efficient while doing 2 things at once, and pee while taking a shower! wow, thats fucking awesome, and if you wanna fucking make your world explode, take your tooth brush in the shower, and brush those gnarly fuckers, cause i know when i wake up or wanna go to bed, i hate fucking brushing my teeth, but getting in the shower and forcing myself to be around water for a decent amount of time will eventually convince me to brush my teeth. 

if this shit grossed you out, you should fucking grow up. if you liked what you read, make sure to check my blog daily for posts, sorry i havent been keeping my promises, i just have put out like 20 posts in less than 9 days, and i think that should be enough unless you love me, but you dont comment, i got a lot more things to discuss, but if you dont comment to tell me if you like it or not, how am i supposed to know? if you like what you read here, you might want to also check out my likes.com page. http://fingerstroodle.likes.com/

 

Gym Class Today, And Every Other Week

today, we had gym. now today didnt start off so great. my sister and i had gotten ready for school, and we were waiting for our ride outside, and when we had waited ten minutes, thats when we started to question weather or not this bitch was actually coming.

turns out this mother had the audacity to skip us, and drive away. thats fucking retarded, so long story short, we missed our ride. so then we had to wait for a taxi to take us to school, which we had already missed a good hour of already. as soon as i get to school, the first thing i hear is you have to take your math test during lunch, so as you can tell, im pretty fucking annoyed, no one is excited for a test, unless they know they are going to do well. anyway, i do it during lunch, its not that hard, i finish in 20 minutes, but then we have gym after so then i obviously was rushed to get dressed for gym class.

as we are walking to the gym class, my friends tell me we have to do the mile run. now, i didnt know that we were going to do something like this, and i was so fucking cause i had just eaten like 3 corn dogs for lunch, and i definitely was not ready to run for a mile, and my butthole was certainly not ready to contain what it was holding back at the time.

so, we go out on the field to run. we start to run, and like 10 minutes in, i get tired. thats not too bad, i usually get tired 4 or 5 minutes in, but i was energetic enough to get through 10 till i started to jog.

as soon as i start to jog, my gym teacher starts to bitch at me for not running. i then tell her, look at me, im running, this is as good as it gets. she then proceeds to tell me you are dragging your feet. now when i heard that, i freaked out. i stared at her, and i told her, is this how you want me to do it, and i started to pogo stick run, which is basically running like a gazelle, and she was like, oh cmon, actually do it. i didnt care, i fucking started to walk. fuck her.

but this is probably a once a month thing. usually, we do “sports” i use quotation marks because we dont really do sports in this gym class. what we do is about 40 minutes of warmups, running pushups, sit ups, stretching, and then wall sits, and then for about 20 minutes of the class, we do the actual sport. i dont fucking understand how that makes sense.

there is a certain curriculum for sports, not for fucking stretching. seriously, the whole class is just fucking doing warmups. its fucking retarded. ive expressed this to people before,and they share the  same feelings as me, i just havent done anything about it yet, but i do plan on telling the principal that no one is getting any satisfaction out of these types of gym classes.

im not going to bother with a smooth transition into the next point in this blog, but during gym class, for whatever dumb fucking reason, we are not allowed to talk. for whatever goddamn fucked up reason, we are supposed to be silent at all times. i dont understand why, i dont get why we have to be silent. its gym class, like, arent we supposed to kinda like “work together” and “communicate” with our fellow classmates? nope, i guess. not even during team building exercises? nope, just stand there and do the activity silently. like, how the fuck does that make sense, you must be on one because no one in their right mind would say something as fucked up as you you cunt gym teacher. i bet its cuase she hasnt gotten a good dicking in a while, maybe she lost the ability to understand things good, or something. the woman is the devil, and shes fucking crazy.

if you like what you read, and or have any topics you would like me to discuss in the future, make sure to tell me in the comments. it means a lot. thank you for reading what i had to say, and make sure to check my blog for daily posts.