It’s 1:30 as I’m writing this.
I’m really hungry and have been for the past 20 minutes. I woke up at close to 12 o’clock in the morning, and I haven’t been able to fall back asleep, yet. Usually, I would have Wi-Fi, and I would be able to watch YouTube until I fell back asleep, but since I’m sick, and my parents turned off the Wi-Fi because they wanted me to get as much rest as possible, I can’t do what I want to do.
I’ve been home sick for the past couple days, and have done most of my homework, missing a couple assignments here and there, but I’ve kept up with the workload I was given. However, I still haven’t finished at least 2 assignments for English class that I should have a week ago. I’ve had many chances, and opportunities to actually get down to business and start doing them, in the hopes of finishing, but really have had no such motivation to do anything but sleep.
Once you get in the habit of sleeping a lot, its hard not to come home from school and take a nap, or not wake up until 6 PM on a Sunday. I slept because I was stressed, and sleeping took away the stress, momentarily. While I slept, I didn’t have to deal with the stress and the chaos around me. I was alone, all alone, in my thoughts. I was left to think about what I wanted to do, what I felt, what I was feeling, I was left to wonder what would happen, what had happened. I had all these things I could think about, and it just made me want to look into them more and more.
I’ve had so many great adventures in my thoughts, and some even translate, or correlate to real life events, that could have happened that week, or even several years back. It just blew me away that I could remember some things in my thoughts, my dreams, but I couldn’t remember them for the life of me when I was awake.
For example, I was in school, and we were learning about something, and I was completely clueless as to what we were even talking about. When I got home, after of course another stressful day in the life I lead, I fell asleep. Unknowing of the fact that I would revisit such knowledge, I willingly fell asleep in hopes to forget what happened that day, but actually found the answer to many of my questions.
I woke up sweaty, it’s quite common, and all of a sudden knew and understood what we had been talking about that day in class. Its not that I never knew, its just that I had forgotten all about it. I had seen it and studied it before, so the knowledge was already in my mind, I just couldn’t translate it like I could when I was asleep.
The same goes for adventures we all wish we could go on. I came home from school; it was a decent day. I remember eating some food, then immediately falling asleep to a YouTube video.
In my dreams, my thoughts, I wasn’t trapped, but I felt found. I felt as if my thoughts had found me, and vice versa. I was able to access thousands of memories, and was also able to make more.
My mind chose to make more as I was catapulted into a new world, one I had never seen before. I was a foreign substance in another mans world. It was scary, and intimidating, but I quickly met someone, or something.
It looked like a man, although it was somewhat see through, like some of those bioluminescent fish you see at the bottom, or at least close to the bottom, of the sea. The light shunned through him and was quickly reflected on to me. I looked at my body, and I saw that I was also somewhat see through, and the light was reflected onto me, then refracted through me, and bounced down to the ground, and lighting the setting, as it was previously pitch black.
I had never seen or experienced something like this ever before in my life, so I didn’t know what to expect. I had no knowledge of what was going to happen next. It was scary knowing that I knew nothing of where I was, what I was doing, who I was, when I was, or why I was. I was confused, but at the same time intrigued to find out more.
After the room was completely filled full of sun, the man proceeded to walk backward facing me, making sure I followed him, never straying from the clear path he was then painting. He led me to a spot under a tree. It wasn’t a very large tree, more so medium size, but it looked very abundant with leaves, and was flourishing in the sunlight. We walked around the tree until the man signaled to a door. I had no idea what he wanted me to do, but curiosity killed the cat, and I opened the door, unknowing of what would be on the other side.
I was hoping for an answer, but was met with a question. The door had led me to yet another room, but instead of being pitch black, it was white. Very white, I couldn’t see a thing. I looked down at what seemed to be a never-ending drop into nothing, and saw just that, nothing.
What was my mind trying to tell me? I was nothing? I would amount to nothing? I didn’t understand what was being said to me. But then I remembered, I was in my thoughts, I could think, I could do whatever I wanted. I started to see things form in my imagination, which were immediately translated into a picture perfect copy in the white room. As I thought more and more about things I wanted in life, I started to see the room light up, and the things appear.
It felt so real; I had everything I could ever want. Then, it hit me. My mind was trying to tell me that if I was willing to work for something, work for something’s, there was an endless possibility of things I could do, or be.
I woke up. Sweaty, irritated by the fact that the balls of sweat rolling down my face stung my eyes as they drip dropped down from my eyebrows.
I had no idea what had just happened, nor did I have any recollection of what had just happened in my mind, or in my thoughts. It’s quite usual that you do forget your dreams within a certain amount of time of waking up. But it is also quite usual that you remember later in the day, or week, or month, or year, or life. Luckily, it didn’t take me my whole life to remember what I had been thinking of. I felt as if my life had been given a new meaning, more opportunities, a clear-cut idea and game plan of what I had to do to achieve my goals, and to get what I wanted.
I felt in control, for the first time, in a long time. I felt as if I was knowing, wiser than I was before. I felt found.