Gym Class Today, And Every Other Week

today, we had gym. now today didnt start off so great. my sister and i had gotten ready for school, and we were waiting for our ride outside, and when we had waited ten minutes, thats when we started to question weather or not this bitch was actually coming.

turns out this mother had the audacity to skip us, and drive away. thats fucking retarded, so long story short, we missed our ride. so then we had to wait for a taxi to take us to school, which we had already missed a good hour of already. as soon as i get to school, the first thing i hear is you have to take your math test during lunch, so as you can tell, im pretty fucking annoyed, no one is excited for a test, unless they know they are going to do well. anyway, i do it during lunch, its not that hard, i finish in 20 minutes, but then we have gym after so then i obviously was rushed to get dressed for gym class.

as we are walking to the gym class, my friends tell me we have to do the mile run. now, i didnt know that we were going to do something like this, and i was so fucking cause i had just eaten like 3 corn dogs for lunch, and i definitely was not ready to run for a mile, and my butthole was certainly not ready to contain what it was holding back at the time.

so, we go out on the field to run. we start to run, and like 10 minutes in, i get tired. thats not too bad, i usually get tired 4 or 5 minutes in, but i was energetic enough to get through 10 till i started to jog.

as soon as i start to jog, my gym teacher starts to bitch at me for not running. i then tell her, look at me, im running, this is as good as it gets. she then proceeds to tell me you are dragging your feet. now when i heard that, i freaked out. i stared at her, and i told her, is this how you want me to do it, and i started to pogo stick run, which is basically running like a gazelle, and she was like, oh cmon, actually do it. i didnt care, i fucking started to walk. fuck her.

but this is probably a once a month thing. usually, we do “sports” i use quotation marks because we dont really do sports in this gym class. what we do is about 40 minutes of warmups, running pushups, sit ups, stretching, and then wall sits, and then for about 20 minutes of the class, we do the actual sport. i dont fucking understand how that makes sense.

there is a certain curriculum for sports, not for fucking stretching. seriously, the whole class is just fucking doing warmups. its fucking retarded. ive expressed this to people before,and they share the  same feelings as me, i just havent done anything about it yet, but i do plan on telling the principal that no one is getting any satisfaction out of these types of gym classes.

im not going to bother with a smooth transition into the next point in this blog, but during gym class, for whatever dumb fucking reason, we are not allowed to talk. for whatever goddamn fucked up reason, we are supposed to be silent at all times. i dont understand why, i dont get why we have to be silent. its gym class, like, arent we supposed to kinda like “work together” and “communicate” with our fellow classmates? nope, i guess. not even during team building exercises? nope, just stand there and do the activity silently. like, how the fuck does that make sense, you must be on one because no one in their right mind would say something as fucked up as you you cunt gym teacher. i bet its cuase she hasnt gotten a good dicking in a while, maybe she lost the ability to understand things good, or something. the woman is the devil, and shes fucking crazy.

if you like what you read, and or have any topics you would like me to discuss in the future, make sure to tell me in the comments. it means a lot. thank you for reading what i had to say, and make sure to check my blog for daily posts.



lately, ive been hurting pretty hard. its tough times in the personal life, and i really cant handle anything in the real world, which really shows me how fragile i really am, and scares me because in the future, im not going to have time to cry, or to hurt, i just have to move on.

im not one to run away from a problem, which kinda shows you how many i would have at any single given point in time. my homework, my relationships, my depression, my paranoia, my anxiety, and i think i might be bipolar, i cant handle waiting for someone, and i can turn ugly within seconds, i cant handle things right now, and its not something thats just all of a sudden. this is over an extended period of time.

people always let me down, maybe i have too high expectations for them, because at one point in time, i trusted them, for some reason. i gave them the ability to access my feelings, the inside scoop on whatsup with fingerstroodle. 

but once you trust someone, you start to develop expectations for them, and when you get closer to that person, you start to feel something more than just what you did in the beginning. things change, relationships change, people change, and theres nothing you can do about it. 

i cant help but wonder about what could have been, or the what ifs in my life. i honestly dont need that now, and i dont think ill ever feel the need to say what if again. no one should have to deal with stress in their lives, i know some people might think stress is over rated, but when you meet some one like me, someone who cant handle things, some one who is border line crazy, on the brink of doing some crazy shit, then you might understand. if you are still an arrogant little ignorant cunt, then fuck you, get off my blog. 

im back to writing what i want, when i want, and i think this actually really helps me with things, of course, i put off homework, but really, what does homework do other than waste your time at home. when i get home, all i wanna do is sleep, and thats mainly because of the things ive been through, and am going through right now. 

if you like what you read, and or have similar feelings about this, or other things ive written on my blogs, make sure to tell me in the comments down below. everything counts, and it means a lot to me to hear from people who actually enjoy what i write. if you have a topic you would like me to discuss, put it in the comments below. 

Dumb Questions

i hate it when people ask me dumb fucking questions.

my parents just got home, and immediately, my dad asks if we are home. of course we are home, where are we going to go? we live ontop of a fucking mountain. 

its like, if you left the stove on cause you were cooking some crystal, and your dad comes home and asks you why is the stove on, its like, what the fuck, you thats such an obvious fucking answer to the dumbest question ive heard since like forever. its on because i left it on, dont ask me why, just know that its on, and that i left it on. 

now, my parents are the type of people where if they see a light on, they ask why its on, and who turned it on, either that or they just blame both me and my sister, and we both have to go up there and turn it off, which brings me to something new, actually. do your parents ever do that where they say that a lights on, and then they call one of you to turn it off. its like, are you fucking joking with me, you aint no criss rock nigga, if you are there and you have the ability to turn off the light, then do so. dont fucking expect me to come running to turn it off, im busy. seriously, and then they fucking complain about the electricity bill being so goddamn high, no wonder you fuck, its because you are so fucking stubborn to the point where you will waste money and wait for your child to turn off a light in a situation where you are near enough to the switch to turn it off, but you call your child to do so instead because “they turned it on” i say that sarcastically because most of the time, i dont even turn on the fucking light, and if i do, i turn it off as i leave the room. goddamn, another thing, i fucking hate it when i have the lights on in my room, and them my parents see it, and immediately run to turn it off to save the earth because no ones in the room, and then they ask if anyones in the room, of course i cant hear them when they mutter, so they turn it off, and then i come back to the room, and the lights are off. that just pisses me the fuck off, it makes no sense to me whatsoever, none at all. ANYWAY…..

the other day, i was in spanish, and the teacher asked me to say the answer, but i hadnt been listening, so i was pretty fucked, but then she asked me if i had been listening, which is basically a killer question, as i like to call them. a killer question is where there is no right answer, no matter what, you are fucked. women use this to basically bitch slap their men. now, im going to go off topic here and say women are the best detectives in the world. if you ask a dude whos had the same girlfriend forever, he will tell you the exact same answer. women will go to the ends of the earth to find the answer, no matter how simple it may seem. 

if your girl asks you where you have been, please guys, tell her the truth, because god knows she will find the answer one way or another, and you do not want to witness the true brutality of a woman like one who has been lied to. 

anyway, getting back to the real point of this post… i hate it when people ask me a question they already know the answer to. its fucking retarded, and in the end its just wasting their time. they spent time to think of a fucking question, and then asked me it, already knowing the answer, they willingly wasted their time to do so. thats time, and breathe they will never get back. they could have saved an african child in the time they took to ask me if i had done my homework. of course i havent done my fucking homework, have you seen my grades, i dont do homework, and thats another thing ill talk about later, but seriously, dont ask me questions you already know the answers to, its just wasting your time. and please dont get mad at me for answering  you with shut the fuck up, or you already know the answer so shut the fuck up. you brought that shit on yourself when you dared to ask me the question in the first place. thank you good night. 

if you liked what you read, please make sure to check my blog for daily posts, i know i havent been on in a while, ive been dealing with some things, but im back now from my little hiatus and i plan on writing for a while :). make sure to leave any topics you would like to see me discuss in later posts, it means a fuck ton to me that people actually read my shit. 

Words Are Words

i hate it when i hear people say fuck, and immediately after someone says, dont swear. jesus fucking christ, stop being so goddamn sensitive you pussy. fuck is a word just like shit and cunt and pussy are words, they shouldnt be categorized as swear words just because the general public thinks they are crude. who seriously gives a fuck. oh ya, the “general public.” 

its just the same as if i were to say shit in front of a girl, some one would immediately say, dont be rude around women. ok, if women wanted equal rights with men, they wouldnt continually complain and bitch about that kind of shit, and they definitely dont need anus holes like you to defend them, if that want to be treated like everyone else in this world, theyll take it. fuck is a word, just like shit, and cunt, and faggot, and pussy, and slut. just like every other word in the world. they are all the same.

the only reason people think they are offensive is because over time, people have used them in the wrong ways, either to “insult someone,” or for “slang,” when in reality, they are just words, and shouldnt be categorized as “swear words.”

for example, if you were in school, and you said fuck out loud, you would get in trouble, but why? why would you get in trouble for saying a word. its because of the way society perceives language. weve grown so sensitive to words. really, words. and then you hear about problems with bullying all around the world. umm, no, thats what the public says, and wants you to think. we wouldnt have a problem with bullying if kids grew up with the sense that fuck is a bad word, and that words like bitch and pussy are hurtful words, no, they arent, they are just slang, they are just words. people are so sensitive, thats why we hear about bullying so much, its because people take things so seriously now a days, they forgot how to have fun, how to take a joke.

you ever have those grandparents that just call you faggot, and shit head all the time? they dont do it to make fun of you, they do it because thats how they grew up talking. there were no restrictions, you could say whatever the fuck you liked. 

words are words, and should be treated only as words. not categorized as “swear words,” or “bad words” that gives people the wrong impression, and ultimately what causes bullying problems, that, and people dont know how to stand up for themselves. 

Trust Issues

as i said in my last post, and in some others, i find it hard to trust anyone in my life, and this is due to previous experiences in my life, and in other peoples lives. 

i find it hard to get close to anyone, and the people im close to, are the people i feel most comfortable with. although, its hard to function sometimes without them. i grew dependent on those people, i need them in my life, more than they would ever think they needed me. 

i value friendships, i value the relationships i have with people, good and bad. i make them know they are wanted, they are liked, they are loved, they are needed. but they almost never check up on me. they dont make me feel needed, they dont make me feel like im loved, and i find it hard to be happy when i have no one in my life that makes sure im ok, makes sure that im happy with how things are going. 

i havent talked to her in a couple days, but im pretty sure i wont for another couple. 

i hate it when people say ill talk to you later, because that leaves room for them to say, oh yeah, a year is technically later. no, just no. 

ive dealt with so much bullshit in my life, and i have forgiven those who should have been forgotten. 

i seldom trust people in my life because of past experiences. i see no future for me. i once had a vague idea of what it would look like, me and her, 2 kids, a nice loft, but i dont think she has those thoughts anymore.

i need to start to keep the people in my life that give me love, make me feel needed, but its hard to let go of someone who you are in love with. 

to those people who know me personally, i try, but i cant do this alone. i have to find my own way out of the hole im in, but that doesnt mean i dont need you to help me along the way when i get stuck. dont abandon me, im not someone who deserves that, after all we have been through, dont treat me like im expendable. 

How I Feel

its hard to find someone you can love. its hard to find someone you can trust. its hard to find someone to believe in, but its easy to be alone.

for me, its to the point where i can barely trust anyone, where im almost never happy. when i try to open up to people, they just shut me down, when i try to be close to the one person i thought would always be there for me, shes gone.

everything is easier said than done. people say, stop being depressed. go out and do things, make new friends, be exciting. but i cant.

i try to cover up what i feel inside with humor because it feels like the only thing thats stopping me from killing myself. 

i cant trust anyone, i dont believe in anything, and the one person i loved with all my heart is gone. 

when i say there is no one there for me, im not lying. i didnt push people away, i asked for their help, and they just shut me down. 

its all the pressure in my life, my relationship, which is almost always shitty, my life at home, which is almost always shitty, my grades, which are always shitty, my paranoia, my anxiety, it all comes down on me, and in that single point in time in which the shit hits the fan, its like im that milasian airlines, i just blow up, and vanish.

i wish i could just run away from all my problems, i wish i wasnt such a problem to the one person i love in my life. i just make it harder and harder for everyone around me.

i just want to die. 

The Weeknd

now, i dont know if you, the reader, knows who the weeknd is, but he is a canadian born RnB singer, and literally the reason you should start listening to music.

this guy is 25, and has already been referred to as the songbird of his generation. this dude has the voice on an angel, theres no better way to explain it. his vocals will make you ladies wet, and you guys dicks hard. hes that good.

if you do closer research on him, youll find that he left home when he was 17, on the weekend, hence the stage name, the weeknd. from the time that he was 17-25, he has written about 50 or some songs, and released about 4 albums, 2 in the same year.

when i say hes an RnB singer, hes not your average miguel, or usher, or trey songz, hes completely different. this man has tried every single drug known to man, and has been in so many women, he lost count at 2000. hes witnessed all night sex parties on at least 20 different kinds of drugs, hes been lifted, or course, who hasnt in the music industry, or anywhere to be honest.

if you dont actually want to take the time out of your day to actually search up some of his music, but want to know what its about, and for some reason you are reading my blog, then i will tell you. you already read how he has a voice of an angel, and that he has done many drugs, and had a lot of sex with a lot of girls, so i guess it would be safe to say you could infer what he sings about in his songs.

this man is an inspiration to millions, and is just as mysterious as it gets, only having live shows in small and desolate towns in canada, and sometimes in las vegas, but if you want to know more about him, you can search him up on google, and im sure if you are good at looking for things, youll be able to find some information on him.

if you like what you read make sure to check my blog for daily posts, and dont forget to leave topics you would like me to discuss in the comments.