so almost every saturday, i like to go out with my friends. usually, we just go to clubs or some shit, fuck around, dance, do whatever, and then we leave, the night is over.
but, where we go out, my friend and i noticed that there are a precarious amount of strip clubs in the area. so, we figured, why not try it out.
so, the first time we try it out, we just are walking outside of the burger king, and then these two ladies pull us to the side and say, do you want to come in. of course, being horny teenagers, we both said yes to the ladies, and we went in, no ID, which is amazing but not uncommon. so we go in, and we get a lapdance. now, we paid 60 euros total for 2 lapdances, being inexperienced, we thought a lapdance was like 20 minutes, but nope, we got scammed, the ladies finished in literally 1 song, which is barely 3 minutes. what fucking bull shit. we wasted all our money for the night on 3 minutes of barely any taint.
so, being the smart people me and my friend are, the next week we bring even more money to the strip clubs. the good thing was, we both didnt have id cards, so we couldnt get into any of the strip clubs that we wanted to get into. i remember we wanted to get into one so bad, we tried 8 times one night after going to like 7 others and getting turned down, we tried to go to this one near a club we go to a lot, but everytime the guy was like, where is your id, i cant let you in without your id. so we didnt get in that saturday after wasting a good 2 hours trying to get into at least 1 strip club.
the next week, my friend gets an ID. we go to the clubs, and they let him in, but they dont let me in. i mean, i can understand why they didnt, but i think my excuse of forgetting my id at my apartment and being a foreign exchange student from spain were pretty decent, decent enough to get me into a strip club once that night. but not luck.
so, i finally decide to ask my good buddy to make me one, and, he succeeds. i print mine out, and we are ready to go. but wait, i have to make it seem legit, cause whos going to buy a guy with an ID just printed out on a piece of paper? no one. so, i try to make it look pro, so i just put some cardboard on the back, and then to like laminate the shit, i cut out pieces of like folder paper thats clear, and i glued them to both sides. i mean, it wasnt the best of jobs, but i think i did well for a first time offender.
so, when i meet my friends up that night, i show them my work of art. my mona lisa if you would. they tell me it looks like shit, i wont get into any clubs. wow, i thought i had friends, people who would support me, not people who would kill my hopes and dreams of getting pussy in the strip club. anyway, we leave the place where we met up, and we go to the clubs. usually, we just went to this one club which is filled with smoke, so much it will make your eyes fucking water, so we dont really go there anymore unless its early, plus onlike like 12 year olds go there, or people without ID cards, so fuck it, whatever.
anyway, we get the idea that we should to the more lavish, elder clubs, ones with people who actually know what the anatomy of a penis is when they are sober. so me with my new ID card looking all mighty and tall pulls it out when we walk up, but as i walk by the bouncer, i realize he didnt even ask me for ID. he just let me walk right in. wow, i was like, wtf, i spend like 30 good minutes on my pro ID card, and its all for not, i dont even get to show it off.
long story short, every place we go, they dont ask to see my ID card. which is really weird. either i had a pretty good stache going, or they just didnt really care that night. i dont know, but all i could think was i dont really need one anyway. so as we are leaving, saying goodbye, going home, i take out the card glued to the cardboard and shit, and i see that its all green haha, its so funny because the ink actually like, i dont know, got fucked up to the point where the whole front of the ID card turned green.
anyway, so the next week, i decide to make it a bit more legit without really making it that much more legit. i jut end up printing it out on a piece of paper, and using that. and it worked. legit, it worked, got into every club, strip club, everywhere. it made me really proud to be like, yeah, i can get in there, there, there, there. like, my friend and i were literally young kings in the clubs with our new ID cards, just, we were kings.
the week after that, we get into some strip clubs, my friend and i, and the ladies take us into the same room, now the one i had was like, lets go into the next room, and im like, ok whatever, and then i leave my friend. so im literally in there for like 2 hours because this bitch stole like 200 euros from me, i had put all my money into separate pockets because i knew i had a lot, and you never tell a hoe how much money you have, cause of course, quoting breezy, these hoes aint loyal, and they aint going to respect the fact that you aint willing to spend fitty thouzand on dem shits. i knew not to raise a problem tho, i was just really mad because she literally robbed me, and there was nothing i could do about it because she knew i wasnt 18, and there were police outside, so she of course could have gone and gotten them, and i would have been fucked. so anyway, i just sit there, and when i finally escape, my friends gone. i spend the next hour looking for him, and then i finally find them, and then its whatever they tell me they had been looking for me for an hour in literally the same place i was looking for them, but i dont really think so because i walked up and down the street they were looking for me on about 5 times.
so this week, we go out, and i see more of my friends, the really really really really really really really fun ones, and we go into the club, but of course, we had to flash our ID cards like you flash your SS Anne ticket in Pokemon, and we go inside and meet them. of course, we have a little talk, fuck around, have some fun, I DONT DRINK, OR DO DRUGS, OR SMOKE, I JUST LIKE TO HAVE FUN WITH MY FRIENDS. just a little disclaimer for those who are reading this. but anyway, we just have some fun, and you know, do some thangs that we are not proud to speak of, at least im not. anyway, i just wanted to share my ID card chronicles with you guys because it was a long time coming, and i just thought it was funny how me and my friend were just so naive and just so fucking dumb all the time, btw, we are never going to strip clubs again, we blew bout 550+ euros on it in the past 3 weeks, so we are not going to fuck with that shit anymore, just so you know. and im warning you guys reading this, never go to the strip clubs, you can get real pussy in the clubs if you are attractive, or if the girl is drunk, either or.
haha, thanks for reading my story, and i hope none of you fall under the traps my friend and i have. make sure to check my blog for weekly posts, i know i havent been consistent, ive just got a lot of my table, im starting a youtube channel, and im going to be playing pokemon on it soon, so i hope some of you reading this will be watching my videos, hopefully, hopefully. anyway, i hope you enjoyed my story, bye.